Having made a significant investment in your vacation, perhaps you’d like to know where you are–symbolically and geographically speaking–as you stand on this rock known as the Conch Republic.

Conch, pronounced “konks,” represent any number of sea snails or shells that generally reside throughout the Caribbean, the Bahamas and the Florida Keys, though we generally refer to the Queen Conch as representing Key West.  The shell itself is extraordinarily strong, at times quite colorful, and can be used as a musical instrument or decoration, and the meat is a culinary delicacy. The local natives are also known as Conchs, being strong, colorful, decorative in dress and demeanor, adaptive to change. Locals adopted the moniker, along with the shell, as a mascot and began referring to the island as the Conch Republic.

The purists insist only someone born in Key West is a true Conch, and these Chronological Conchs can and will count off the generations their family has been here. But even they recognize–at some point–many who consciously choose to live and remain on the island are also fit to wear the label. However, there are degrees of acceptance, and one’s place in the Conch queue must be earned. After seven  years, an immigrant from the north is awarded the honorary title of “Fresh Water Conch.” This involves a presentation, a mild hazing, a signed proclamation suitable for framing, and bragging rights. Not to be outdone, recent arrivals also vie for Tap Water, Bottled Water and for the truly nouveau, Sparkling Water Conch designation. Qualifications are, well . . . negotiable.

So what is a republic without a little revolution? A brief history lesson will help to explain the circumstances that led to the historic Conch Republic revolt. The Caribbean has a reputation for harboring those who think, act, and live somewhat outside of  normal North American behavioral parameters. In Key West the initial European-descended inhabitants were pirates who begat salvagers who begat rum runners who begat contemporary drug smugglers. We’re speaking of marijuana smugglers here, weekend weed warriors, innocuous innovators who predated the cash cow criminally minded cocaine dealers. These ganja smuggling gentleman pirates could steer a schooner through a break in the reef under a moonless sky. Thrill seekers if you will. Why you might even call them colorful. The cocaine cowboys ruined all that.

In the 1970’s money was tight, the Navy was gone, the harmless hippies controlled the coast and a laissez-faire attitude prevailed. Drugs were plentiful, available, and for some profitable. This attracted law enforcement…in more ways than one. Local government officials including police officers, firemen, city commissioners, and a city attorney all succumbed to easy money. In 1975 the Key West Bubba Bust produced 19 arrests of government officials. I tell you this because while the Conch Republic may not have been born at this time, it was certainly conceived.

Partially in response to the flow of Cuban migrants across the gulf-stream, but also a result of Ronald Reagan’s new war on drugs, the United States Border Patrol in 1982 established road blocks up-and-down the Keys stopping all vehicles and searching for Cuban migrants and marijuana. Mayor Dennis Wardlow noted that Key West was being treated like a foreign country, and on April 23rd, 1982 proclaimed the island’s independence, declared war on the United States and immediately surrendered, demanding aid and restitution. All tongue-in-cheek of course but it gained national press exposure and the blockade was lifted. The Conch Republic was born, and ideas began to germinate about how to rebrand Key West as a tourist destination.

A celebration demands recognition. Look at us! Look what we’ve done! You can be part of this! Key West in the 80’s was in a transitional period a cocooned butterfly anxious to stretch its wings. The first Fantasy Fest, a street party and parade to help the town through the slow autumn season, was held in 1979. It has since blossomed into a quasi-controlled annual bacchanalia. Hemingway Days, a celebration to honor the iconic writer began in 1980 and continues to attract legendary look-alikes to Sloppy Joe’s Bar. Mel Fisher’s Treasure Salvors found the famed Spanish Galleon Atocha wreck in 1985, and Jimmy Buffett opened a retail store between a bait shop and a raw bar in Land’s End Village that would become the internationally known brand, Margaritaville.  The Conch Republic was thriving.

But our island namesake brand needed to be managed, to be nurtured, to be massaged into a message. Along came Peter Anderson, marketing executive from Proctor & Gamble, who quit his job and moved to Key West.  He loved the freedom Key West afforded all residents. He loved the piratical nature of business on the island.  And he became infatuated with the story of the Conch Republic.  He immediately went to work organizing and promoting the brand.  He attended local ceremonies of any kind as the now “honorable” Sir Peter Anderson, Secretary General of the Conch Republic, dressed in british naval coat, pony-tailed, polished queen conch in hand. Sir Peter spearheaded the Conch Republic Independence Celebration, an annual spring festival that miraculously balanced the expectations of both off-the-hook locals and our more reserved guests. No easy task. But Peter Anderson proved to be a master merchant and merchandiser, and the symbolic secession ceremony was a hit. So much so that business owners and residents of towns further up the island chain sought to launch independence celebrations of their own.

Can there be more than one Conch Republic? Why not. As Buffett would say, it’s really just a state of mind. 

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Martin Lehman

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